haix.. regret. forgive n forget

i nvr blv tht losing him is so suffer. aiks. i reli miss him vv much. i reli dunnoe wat to do liao. wat shud i do? i reli suffer wv living in tz world without him. i feel lik a knife stab into my heart n its totally vv deep. n those blood dripping non stop. aiks. tht dae i break wv him, i tot he will vv sad but wen i co him, he dunnoe hu am i. tht was hurt act. but i cnt flow any tears fer anyone anymore fer anoyone caz its totally break into pieces n flew away my heart. cant tek it bck. vv hurt. everydae was working n tinking abt him. i reli dunnoe wat to do. feel lik no meaning im living in tz world. aiks. ytd was his bday. i didnt wish him. this is my most guilty de ting ive done.maybe its fate la, i reli cant blv tht dae y i suddenly will log in steph prof n saw wat he wrote to her. i wud nvr 4get myself. ths feeling is bck agen. whhy? i reli depress n extremely sad at tht time. but i reli cant rolls my tears anymore. aiks. wat cn i do? everydae act lik vv happi n nth lo. but its reli suffer in my heart. todae he sms-ed mi. i was furious n shocked. i reli wan to sae sorry to him n co him go out. but i noe its totally impossible. aiks. maybe no one can be lik dick so generous. afta i break wv dick, he stil cn vv friendly wv mi n chat wv mi but tz time he sms mi its not happy but its hurt by heart. v argue actuali. i reli hope nth hav happen btw us n happily wv him. i reli cant live without him. aiks. i reli hurt.but i hope wat am i guessing is wrong n hope he now love de is steph my best sis.she is so cold to mi n lik reli wv him got sumting. i reli hope tht he stil loves mi vv much. hoping one day he would bck to my side..........